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07 February 2009 @ 01:25 pm
title: Teapots! Teapots are flying everywhere!
rating: pg
pairing/characters: Bellatrix and two little house elves ( Lucius doesn’t count for obviously reasons, silly man )
word count: 759 (ficlet)
genre: crack/humor
summary: Teapots! Teapots are flying everywhere!
author's notes:I really couldn't help but put the house elves in there! I promise that next time it will only be from her perspective! Tee Hee :)

In which two house elves are really quiet confusedCollapse )


My lord,

It may seem silly of me but am I to understand you blame me for this? I will accept that it was my fault the last three times but this time it’s all on Lucius’ shoulders. I’m sure he would say otherwise but I see him as the one to be blamed.

I was simply preparing some tea for this afternoon when he came in makes some of the biggest noises. It gave me a fright and so I accidentally dropped the teapot. I didn’t throw it at him if that is what he is to suggest. It was he that caused the accident to happen! You wouldn’t really condemn me for his pride and carelessness, would you my lord?

It was never me intent to jeopardize your reputation my lord! Truthfully.

Yours devoted ,
02 February 2009 @ 04:37 pm
It has recently come to my attention that certain Death Eaters Lucius Malfoy Do not know what it really means to be Death Eaters. Might I remind you that the only person in this elite organization who has the right to act all high and mighty is myself?

Therefore, I purpose an amendment to the Death Eater Code of Conduct as suggested by a faithful well wisher and Bellatrix, who you all should know by now (and if you don't, I pity you becuase you shall be looking over your shoulder forever just in case she decides to attack you out of the blue).

Rule Amendment #101

As stated in paragraph seven of article eight in section 3.2 of sub-heading 'Life and Whatnot of the Standard Death Eater under the rule of the Dark Lord Voldemort', the life of a Death Eater should be full of mayhem, torture, and fluffy bunnies.

However, I would also like to add that thin mints and Cookies & Cream ice cream are also required to make an ordinary Death Eater extraordinary. For life requires these two things, and what are Death Eaters other than those who live life to its fullest in the way magic fashioned it to be?

So from now on, these two things are required in addition to what is already stated. Thin mints are now available to snack on before/during/after each and every torture session.

Oh, er, obey my rules or else you shall find yourself in a rather unfortunate position before tea time, and I shall let Bellatrix curse you when the tea pot whistles too loudly.

Have a deary day, my loyal and humble servants!
Title: Slightly Surprised To Find Broken Glass
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: voldyshorts is your mom
Word Count: 389 (ficlet)
Genre: Crack/Humor
Summary: It was one of those days when muggles weep at your feet...
Author's Notes: Angie, I don't know how you want to do this, but I think Voldy was challenging Bella to write about how she broke the tea pot. xD

In Which Voldemort Is Slightly Surprised To Find Broken GlassCollapse )


Dear Bella,

Honestly, why must you always break our good china ware? Whatever will the company think when we've got nothing but chipped grey tea pots with which to serve them tea? This is detrimental to my image, darling. Do try and contain your temper.

Without love,

You Dark Lord

P.s If you would so kind as to enlighten me as to how this incident came about, I promise to not curse you.
Current Mood: predatory